Back to School Sampler

As you have probably guessed, I am crazy busy getting ready for back to school. I might not be posting very regularly for another week or two but I wanted to share some of the things that have caught my interest the last week or so related to Back to School.
Lunchbox Printables

Did you see this adorable set of Lunchbox Printables from Kiki and Company? I am going to be using these with my students as well as my kids. So cute!

Mini Accountability Binder
I also have my eye on this mini accountability binder from Mique at 30 Handmade Days. I think it would be perfect for my youngest who is starting junior high this year.

Find the boy color version here.

I know many of us have been impacted by Robin Williams death. I have had a close family member hospitalized with depression and so this issue really hits home to me. I think a new school year is the perfect time to talk to our kids about anxiety, stress and depression and open the door to communication if they have any problems in the future.

I loved this list of celebrities who have struggled with depression in the Huffington Post. The reason I liked this article is that each brief paragraph outlined different ways that the celebrities have found to help them cope with that depression. I am sharing this with my children.

43 Inspiring Celebs Who Lived with Depression

Photo from Michelle Lehnardt Scenes form the Wild.net

I also loved this post from Michelle Lehnardt at Scenes from the Wild. She talks about how the most important thins we can teach our kids is to be kind because "everyone they meet is fighting a hard battle."
Be Kind

The problem is that most parents say that they want their children to be kind but that is not the message that kids receive. This study shows that kids feel like their parents value grades more than they value kindness.

Parents value grades over kindness, kids say in new study

Something needs to change in the message that we are sending our children as they head back to school each year.

Perhaps you will want to join me in reading this letter to your kids before school starts

Dear Chase

Photo by Glennon at Momastery

Good luck in sending all your darling children back to school. I can't wait to welcome all my students into another fun year of growth and learning. 

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The Tortoise and the Hare at School

I have been getting more and more excited about this coming school year. I love the challenge of helping students of all different abilities and skill levels succeed. This year I have a particularly high number of students with learning disabilities and even a few with autism. I hope that I can be the teacher that makes a significant difference in their lives.

I am planning to begin the year by telling the story of the Tortoise and the Hare. I love this story as it relates to education and I think every parent should start out the school year telling this story to their kids.

You all know the story about how the slow and steady tortoise wins the race because he is never quits and just keeps on plodding steadily along. On the other hand, the hare loses because he coasts and takes it easy, thinking that he has the race in the bag. 

In my class, I translate the story into more modern language. Some of my students are like the tortoise. I call them Ninja Turtles. They might need to take things a little bit slower, they have a harder time in school and need extra help finishing assignments, but if they keep working hard and continue trying, they will win!! 

On the other hand, some of my students are like the Hare. I call them Energizer Bunnies. They are gifted students who find school easy, but they will lose if they don't continue to be challenged. They need to seek out additional projects and assignments to keep moving forward. They can't fall asleep (figuratively) in my class or they will lose the race in the long run. 

Share this story with your student at the beginning of the school year. Encourage your Ninja Turtle. Some of the brightest minds and smartest people in our world didn't do well in school (Think Albert Einstein.) If turtles work hard and keep trying, they are going to go on to do amazing things. 

Challenge your Energizer Bunny. Don't let her get comfortable doing the bare minimum. Help your bunny take on additional projects or learn about things that interest him apart from school. Don't let a bunny coast for very long or he will lose the momentum he needs to succeed in the long run.

Whether you have a turtle or a bunny (or both), have a great school year learning alongside your child.  

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Saturday Sampler

Here are some of the things that have grabbed my attention this week.

1. I love finding fun ways to get my kids playing that doesn't involve technology. Katie will love these adorable Frozen play sets from Kiki and Company.

I can see her having so much fun cutting them out and playing with them with her friends. This cute downloadable set includes a sleigh and paper castle for just $3.00.

Frozen Inspired Paper Tots

And you can get the add on Olaf for free!

Summer Olaf

2. I was so excited when I found this cute printable at Paging Super Mom. At the beginning of each school year I tell my students that the best thing that could happen to them this year is to make lots of mistakes! They always look surprised until I tell them that I love making mistakes because research has shown that the brain actually grows more after making mistakes and correcting them. This awesome book reinforces that message in such a fun way.  Barney Saltzberg illustrates how to take a mistake and make it beautiful and turn it into a work of art.

He uses torn paper, spills, squiggles and dots and incorporates them into the art of the story. I love this printable so the students can turn mistakes into works of art on their own.

Beautiful Oops! Printable

3. I was so grateful for this news article that alerted me to the danger of caffeine powders. This is a conversation that I need to have with my kids.

Caffeine Powder Overdose: Who is Protecting Teens?


4. Another conversation I need to have with my kids involves safe dating and avoiding sexual assault. I love the work of Mike Domitrz.

He developed the Date Safe Project after helping his sister deal with sexual assault on a date. I plan to teach my son to ask this question,  "May I kiss you?" every time he wants to kiss a girl.

I agree with Mike that our culture is disrespectful to women when it teaches men to be aggressive and just lean in for the kiss etc. and then teaches women to have to say "No" and resist if the attention is undesirable.

Learn more here:

Can I Kiss You?

And Here: 

Date Safe Project

5. Have you seen this Newsies Medley yet?

I love all the videos by BYU's Vocal Point. We have been watching them as a whole family. Katie seems to pull up a new one to show us every day. My other favorite is their cover for "Show Me Your Brave" by Sarah Bareilles.

Love the message of this song!
Have a great weekend.


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Begin with the End in Mind

I have been working on recording the histories of my in-laws, Melvin and Dixie Rowley. They are incredible people. It has been a sacred experience to sit at their feet and listen to the stories of their lives. At the end of several days of intense interviewing, I ask them what they hoped to be remembered for.

Melvin said that he wanted to be remembered as a hard worker.

Dixie said that she wanted to be remembered as someone that loved her children.

What was so interesting about these responses is that I called my husband and asked him what he thought his parents would want to be remembered for. He quickly said "hard work" for his dad and "loved her children" for his mom. Isn't that amazing? They have lived their lives aligned with their truest values. And they will be remembered for the things that were most important to them.

As I worked on this project, I couldn't help but wonder what I would be remembered for. Is it for something that I want to be remembered for? Or something I wish I wouldn't be? Someone who was always on the computer, perhaps!

I titled this post Begin with the End in Mind.  Imagine you have come to the end of your life and you are asked, What do you want to be remembered for? Answer that question and then work backwards. What do you need to do right now so that you will be remembered that way? How can you make that important quality or action more visible in your life on a daily basis?

I hope I will be remembered as someone who prayed to God with great faith and always turned to Him for help in hard times. As I typed that sentence, I realized that we have gotten lax in our morning prayers this summer. Everyone wakes up at different times and I haven't been gathering my children to pray as often as I should. Something tells me that I need to change if I am going to be remembered the way that I hope I will be. Today is the first day of the rest of your life!





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Saturday Sampler

Since it is Saturday, I am going to share with you a sampler of things that have caught my attention from the Web.

1.  My kids and I are planning this next Friday. I am so excited! Don't tell!

2.  I read this to each of my daughters this week. Everyone needs this message, especially all of our girls.

Your Body is Not Your Masterpiece


3. Yea Colbie Caillat! I love her.

4. I want to get involved in this powerful cause.
They provide hygiene items for girls in impoverished countries so that they can stay in school during their periods.

Days for Girls International


5. I have spent this week writing the life history of my incredible sister-in-law, Sabrina Rowley

Sabrina's Obituary

I have been interviewing her parents and her brothers and I have been reminded again of her beauty and strength. I have felt so close to her spirit.  Everything we do to connect our families to our ancestors is powerful. Everyone has a story that needs to be shared and preserved for future generations.  I will share more of Sabrina's story in the future.


6. I wrote a piece about Mormon Women and the Priesthood that appeared on the FairMormon blog site. Yikes! Those people are smart.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you are interested in my opinion on the controversy that has been in the news lately about women not being ordained to the priesthood, you can read that below.

What is God thinking?

7. Finally, my heart is aching for sweet Cassidy.

The Cassidy Stay Fund

Enjoy your weekend. We will see you back here for the winners of Hogwarts Week 4 and more fun summer ideas next week.

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Meal Planning Made Easy

Yesterday I posted about the importance of feeding our families and gathering around the dinner table together as often as we can. I thought it might be fun to share how I plan and organize our family dinners.

My menu revolves around where I buy our food and what I buy at certain times of the month. Let me explain.

Once a month I go to Costco. I pick up in bulk the household supplies that I need: toilet paper, paper towels, dishwashing detergents etc. I also buy food. One of our favorite things to buy at Costco is the Big Package of Uncooked Flour Tortillas and the huge bag of Kirkland Tortilla Chips. For a week after I shop at Costco, I plan all my menus around these tortillas. We go crazy with the Mexican food that my kids love.

Here are the items that I regularly serve using these tortillas:
Green Chili Quesadillas
Breakfast Burritos
Chicken Enchiladas
Homemake Cafe Rio Sweet Pork and Rice
Fajitas
Beef Taquitos
Chicken Chili Quesadillas

I try to limit our red meat consumption but once a month I do buy good quality lean hamburger. The following week most of our dinners revolve around this meat. Here are some of things that I serve.

Taco Salad
Lasagna
Spaghetti and Meatballs
Meatloaf
Hamburgers
Navajo Tacos

The other two weeks of the month I do regular grocery shopping usually at Walmart. We eat Italian and Chinese on these weeks with the pasta and rice that I can get very inexpensively.
I serve a mix of the following meals:

Stir Fry Chicken and Rice
Orange Chicken
Ham Fried Rice
Homemade Pizza
Calzones
Pizza Rolls
Fettuccine Alfredo
Stroganoff
Homemade Mac and Cheese

I have tried lots of different meal and menu plans (see this week's post on adaptation above) but this system seems to work the best for me. When I plan my week around a few key ingredients, we spend less money on groceries and waste less food. My family doesn't seem to mind that each week is repetitive since we get lots of variety in the course of a month.

I hope this helps you think about menu planning in a different way and gives you some of your own ideas about what might work for you.

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Feed the Bears

Recently I read the transcript of a speech that was given by Anthony Daniels, a doctor and psychiatrist from Birmingham, England. He shared some of the experiences he has had making house calls to the homes of his patients.

"I should mention a rather startling fact: By the time they are 15 or 16, twice as many children in Britain have a television as have a biological father living at home. The child may be father to the man, but the television is father to the child. Few homes were without televisions with screens as large as a cinema- sometimes more than one- and they were never turned off, so that I often felt I was examining someone in a cinema rather than in a house. But what was curious was that these homes often had no means of cooking a meal, or any evidence of a meal ever having been cooked beyond the use of a microwave, and no place at which a meal could have been eaten in a family fashion. The pattern of eating in such households was a kind of foraging in the refrigerator, as and when the mood took, with the food to be consumed sitting in front of one of the giant television screens. Surveys have shown that a fifth of British children do not eat a meal more than once a week with another member of their household, and many homes do not have a dining table. Needless to say, this pattern is concentrated in the lower arches of society, where so elementary but fundamental a means of socialization is now unknown."

This sad commentary reminded me of some advice I received as a young mother: "When your children are grumpy and out of sorts they are probably hungry. Feed the bears and you will have a happy home." I have learned over the years that there is a lot of wisdom in that advice.

"Nothing rights the world more than a meal lovingly prepared and served by a mother."

It isn't easy to put food on the table every evening for our families but it is worth it. Good luck in feeding your hungry bears!


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Adaptation is a Natural Parenting Law

I was reminded of a natural law recently. It seems to keep showing up in my life. Here are a few examples:

You have to switch out your shampoo every so often because it stops working if you use the same brand all the time.

You have to rotate what crops you plant in your garden or the soil in one area will get depleted from growing the same thing all the time.

You can't take too many antibiotics or they will lose their effectiveness over time.

This natural law can be called the Law of Change, the Law of Adaptation, or the Law of What the Heck, This Used to Work, What Do I Do NOW!!

This law is very prevalent in parenting. Things that used to work with our kids, don't work anymore. Systems that used to be very effective, lose their effectiveness over time. Strategies that we used to be able to rely on, fail us with increasing regularity. It is easy to think that we are bad parents or we aren't consistent when this happens but it just isn't true!

I have come to realize that this is just a natural law. You have to shake it up sometimes. You have to try something new. Nothing works for too long-- not shampoo, not antibiotics, not time out, not chore charts, not counting to 3, not __________ you fill in the blank!

Don't beat yourself up because your formerly effective discipline system isn't working. It is okay. God built this need for change into our world somehow.

I remember talking with the daughter of one of the most effective Moms I know. She was teasing her mother about the fact that every year she would introduce some new system or chart for the family to try. This girl and her siblings would gather around the fridge to see what new thing Mom had posted and take bets on how long the new program would last!

I was thrilled to know that I wasn't the only one. Moms everywhere take heart and keep trying. Try something different. Use that for a few weeks or months and be prepared to change it up in the future and try something new.

We only fail when we keep trying.

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Grace and Motherhood

By Deborah Rowley

We hunt for Easter Eggs as a family on Saturday afternoon. Yesterday, everyone gathered at Grandma's house to play with the baby bunnies, eat, and hunt for Easter Eggs in the backyard. Afterwards, the adults were lingering at the table to visit.

My sister asked one of our sister-in-laws if she had always been such a graceful and natural mother. Heather smiled and laughed. "Oh no," she said. "I really struggle as a mother." I have known Heather for twenty years and I think she is an amazing mother. Her three children are delightful. Her oldest son is 18, then she has a son that is 16 and a daughter that is 14. They are polite. They are kind. They are obedient and have such good hearts. They are a joy to be around. I love it when my children can spend time with her children.

Then Heather continued her confession. "I think the reason my children are turning out so well is because of the enabling grace of Jesus Christ. Every day I get on my knees and plead, 'I cannot do this. I can't be the type of mother that they deserve. Please send your grace to make up for my weakness, to compensate for the areas where I continually fall short. Please help me.' My prayers are answered. My children are a miracle to me."

Amen.

Nowhere in my life do I feel the need for the grace of Christ more than as a mother. These children are His and He loves them. He will help us raise them even though we know full well that we could never do it without Him.

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Horses!

I just finished reading the book The Faraway Horses by Buck Brannaman.

Buck is the real life Horse Whisperer who inspired the movie with Robert Redford.

His story is also told in a documentary called Buck as well as in his book.

This movie was recommended to our family by a gifted social worker named Ted.

Since hearing about this movie, I have learned firsthand about the power of horses for therapeutic healing. Two powerful programs near my home in Highland, Utah have impacted my family for good. One is Courage Reins.

It is a therapeutic riding center for children with all kinds of disabilities. One of my daughters is currently volunteering there as a side walker. She gets to walk beside the horse and the disabled rider during their lessons. She is loving this experience.

The other program is Bridle up Hope. This amazing program was began by the Covey Family to honor their daughter Rachel.

The goal of Bridle up Hope is to assist adolescent girls who are struggling with low self-worth or depression. They sponsor qualified girls who receive 11 free riding lessons. One of my daughters has been participating in this program and hopes to continue as a volunteer.

Just reading the book was so inspiring. Buck himself overcame severe abuse in his childhood to become a man of gentle strength and wisdom who is gifted in working with horses that have been abused. Here is one of the parenting gems that I gained from this book:

Sometimes you'll work with colts that may be a little bit the way I was, kind of looking for an adventure when time permits. These colts are not bad, they don't want to be bad, and they're not trying to make things bad for you. They just might need a little something to do. They don't need to be whipped, or knocked down, any more than I did as a kid. They just need to be directed, or better yet, redirected. Punishing a horse for doing something wrong is no solution. A kick in the gut solves nothing. You will be further ahead of the game if you redirect him where you would like him to go. This was the first example in my life of a person making the wrong thing difficult, and the right thing easy, as opposed to making the wrong thing impossible through intimation. {My foster parents} gave me an understanding of what real love was about, what devotion mean, and how a lesson can be shared, not dictated.  (The Faraway Horses pages 53-54)

I am looking forward to watching the documentary as well. Ted, the social worker I mentioned, uses this movie as he works with teens who are struggling to make positive choices in their lives. He says that the messages they gain from this movie are life-changing.

Are you a horse lover? Do you need to be?

P.S. My daughters and I recently finished The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater. Another very unusual story about horses that made for a fascinating and compelling read. Loved it!


Buck Brannaman

Courage Reins

Bridle Up Hope



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Violence in Movies and in Books

I am often asked my opinion about the super popular book series Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Is it too violent for younger students? I have read all the books in the series and I have seen the first two movies. I feel like the content of the books is appropriate for mature 11 and 12 year olds and this is why.

The books do not glamorize violence but show the devastating effects of violence on a family and on a nation. I do not feel that the violence is gratuitous. While Katniss is the book's hero, she is devastated by the violence of the Hunger Games and Collins does not shy away from showing the negative consequences in her heroine's life. Fans have been critical of the ending of the third book in the series Mocking Jay because it does not end "happily ever after." Instead, it ends with a sober reminder that the main characters continue to be affected by the violence as they continue their lives. 

Much of the research that I have read about the impact of violent movies and violent video games distinguishes between two types of violent media. The harmful type does not show any negative consequences for the violence that it portrays. "Shoot em up" video games that glamorize violence fall into this category. On the other hand, helpful media shows the negative consequences of violence even as it portrays that violence in some way. I loved the movie The Saratov Approach for this reason. 

The Saratov Approach is such a powerful film. It is based on a true story about LDS missionaries who are kidnapped in Russia. I love how the two main characters choose not to use violence even in an attempt to escape from their captors. Seeing this movie would provide such a powerful teaching opportunity for parents. Would violence have been justified in that situation? Would behaving violently have made the missionaries just like their captors? I know The Satatov Approach has just been released on DVD and should be available at Redbox and in Netflix soon. I think watching this movie as a family would provide a terrific opportunity to talk about violence in our lives. I love the part in the movie where members of many churches come together to pray and use nonviolence, peace, and love to combat the violence that has shattered their world. 

This is a choice we can encourage in our children whatever we allow them to read.

P.S. We use a Clear Play filtering system for the Hunger Games movies and many others. Find more about it here.

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A Way to Be More Grateful

One blogger that I follow posts Sunday Inspiration each week. I know I won't be THAT ambitious but today I want to share some Sunday Inspiration with you. I have been reading the book You Will Get Through This by Max Lucado. He is one of my favorite Christian authors.

One chapter is on being more grateful. He begins the chapter by telling this story.

"I was flying home from the Midwest when a snowstorm delayed my arrival in Dallas. I raced to the gate in hopes of catching the final flight of the night for San Antonio. The airport was in a state of contained turmoil. everyone dashing to a gate. The airlines had already loaded extra passengers on  my plane. With all the charm I could muster, I asked the attendant, "Are there any seats left?"

She looked at her computer screen. "No," she replied, "I'm afraid...."

I just knew how she was going to finish the sentence: "I'm afraid you'll have to spend the night here." "i'm afraid you'll need to find a hotel." I'm afraid you'll have to catch the 6:00 a.m. flight to San Antonio."

But she said none of these. Instead, she looked up and smiled. "I'm afraid there are no more seats in coach. We are going to have to bump you up to first class. Do you mind if we do that?"

"Do you mind if I kiss you?" So I boarded the plane and nestled down in the wide seat with the extra legroom. Color me thankful.

Not every passenger was as appreciative as I was. A fellow across the aisle from me was angry because he had only one pillow. With the attendants scrambling to lock doors and prepare for the delayed departure, he was complaining about insufficient service. "I paid extra to fly first class. I am accustomed to better attention. I want another pillow!"

On the other side of the aisle, yours truly smiled like a guy who had won the lottery without buying a ticket. One passenger grumbled; the other was grateful. The difference? The crank paid his way into first class. My seat was a gift.

On which side of the aisle do you find yourself?

If you feel the world owes you something, brace yourself for a life of sour hours. You'll never get reimbursed.
Max Lucado (From the book You'll Get Through This)

Isn't that profound? I struggle with being as grateful as I know I should be. I have tried writing in a gratitude journal but have never been able to keep it up consistently. Just telling myself to be more aware of my blessings doesn't seem to work. But I love this thought. Is this a gift or is it something I am entitled to or that I paid for? Just asking that question makes me acutely aware of all the good things that I have been given.

So I have made a note to remind me. It asks this questions: Is it a gift or is it a given? All I have to do is look around me and I can quickly see that a good marriage, a happy family, a comfortable home, are not givens in this world. I am going to make this question my mantra over the next month. Already, in just a few days, I feel like it has helped me recognize all the good things God has given me.

I will be sharing this thought with my kids during our devotional tonight. I hope that it inspires you as well.

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