Begin with the End in Mind

I have been working on recording the histories of my in-laws, Melvin and Dixie Rowley. They are incredible people. It has been a sacred experience to sit at their feet and listen to the stories of their lives. At the end of several days of intense interviewing, I ask them what they hoped to be remembered for.

Melvin said that he wanted to be remembered as a hard worker.

Dixie said that she wanted to be remembered as someone that loved her children.

What was so interesting about these responses is that I called my husband and asked him what he thought his parents would want to be remembered for. He quickly said "hard work" for his dad and "loved her children" for his mom. Isn't that amazing? They have lived their lives aligned with their truest values. And they will be remembered for the things that were most important to them.

As I worked on this project, I couldn't help but wonder what I would be remembered for. Is it for something that I want to be remembered for? Or something I wish I wouldn't be? Someone who was always on the computer, perhaps!

I titled this post Begin with the End in Mind.  Imagine you have come to the end of your life and you are asked, What do you want to be remembered for? Answer that question and then work backwards. What do you need to do right now so that you will be remembered that way? How can you make that important quality or action more visible in your life on a daily basis?

I hope I will be remembered as someone who prayed to God with great faith and always turned to Him for help in hard times. As I typed that sentence, I realized that we have gotten lax in our morning prayers this summer. Everyone wakes up at different times and I haven't been gathering my children to pray as often as I should. Something tells me that I need to change if I am going to be remembered the way that I hope I will be. Today is the first day of the rest of your life!





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Make some Patriotic Pigeons

Happy 4th of July! One of my favorite patriotic stories is about a pigeon named Cher Ami. I made some pigeon cupcakes last summer with my daughter to honor this heroic bird.

Share this story with your family around the picnic table this Independence Day.

Cher Ami lived almost 100 years ago during the time of World War 1. Her name means “Dear Friend” in French. She was given to the Americans by British soldiers to be a messenger pigeon during the War.

On October 3, 1918, 500 American troops from the 77th Infantry Division were trapped behind enemy lines without any food or ammunition. They were hiding behind a small hill during the Battle of Argonne in France. The men of this Lost Battalion sent out one messenger pigeon with this message:

MANY WOUNDED. WE CANNOT EVACUATE.

This pigeon was shot down by the enemy and many men were killed and wounded that first day because they did not receive the help that they needed. By the second day only 194 men were left alive. They sent out a second messenger pigeon with this message:

MEN ARE SUFFERING. CAN SUPPORT BE SENT?

Again, this second pigeon was shot down. By now the men were in desperate circumstances. The enemy was closing in on them and they had begun to receive “friendly fire” from Allied Troops who did not know their location. They had one messenger pigeon left, “Cher Ami.”

She was sent out with a note in a canister fastened to her leg. The message read:

WE ARE ALONG THE ROAD PARALLEL TO 276.4. OUR OWN ARTILLERY IS DROPPING A BARRAGE DIRECTLY ON US. FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, STOP IT.

As soon as Cher Ami rose from the brush, the Germans started firing on her. The men watched anxiously as Cher Ami flew through the air with bullets zipping all around her. Suddenly, Cher Ami was shot down. The mens’ only hope seemed lost. Then Cher Ami rose into the air again. She flew frantically back to her loft at company headquarters 25 miles away, arriving in just 65 minutes. She delivered her message even though she had been shot in the breast and was blinded in one eye. She was covered in blood and had one leg hanging on by a tendon.

Because Cher Ami successfully delivered her message, the 194 remaining men were rescued and their lives were saved. Meanwhile, Army medics worked to save Cher Ami’s life. They were unable to save Cher Ami’s leg but they carved a wooden leg for her. When she was well enough to travel, the one-legged bird was put on a boat back to America with the American General John Pershing himself seeing her off.

Once she was back in the United States, Cher Ami was awarded the Croix de Guerre medal for her heroic service in delivering 12 messages during the war. Cher Ami died of her wounds on June 13, 1919 at Fort Monmouth, New Jersey. Cher Ami is now displayed at the National Museum of American History in the Price of Freedom Exhibit. She is a true American hero for her service during the war.

You could also take a minute to write a letter to a serviceman or woman to thank them for the sacrifices that they make for our country. 

You could use this website: http://www.operationgratitude.com/get-involved/write-letters/

Thank you heroes for all you do to keep us free!
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I am Malala

Last week I shared my favorite read aloud of this past school year-- Wonder by R.J. Palaccio. Today I would like to share my second favorite read aloud from this past school year. The book was I am Malala. This is the autobiography of Malala Yousafzai, the 16 year old girl who stood up for girl's education and was shot by the Taliban.

When I decided to tackle this challenging non-fiction title with my 5th and 6th grade students I was worried it would be beyond their ability to understand or appreciate. Boy, was I ever wrong! Not only did they get it but reading this book became a life-changing experience for all of us.

Malala has become a personal hero to all of the girls in my class. No one can read this book without gaining a profound appreciation for the rights of eduction that we take for granted every day. I promise if you read this book yourself and/or read it with your kids, you will never see your life or school the same way again.

Malala is an engaging storyteller and each chapter in the book prompted so much dialogue and conversation. It is a violent story but it told in such a way that it is appropriate for 10 and 11 year olds. If you want to prevent summer brain drain, put this on your reading list for the summer.

I showed my students this amazing video of Malala's UN Speech.

We loved this interview with Malala by Diane Sawyer.

Here is Malala's father as he speaks about her on the TED Stage.

I love Malala and her cause. I am praying with the rest of the world for the safe return of the kidnapped Nigerian school girls. Only through education can we hope to change our world for the better.

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Best Book EVER: Wonder!

I can't recommend the book Wonder highly enough. I used this novel as a read aloud in my class this year and without question it was a favorite of everyone in the class. Reluctant readers, prolific readers, boys, girls, ADHD, autism, you name it. Everyone loved this book. And just when I thought that the book couldn't get any better,  R. J. Palacio came out with the Julian chapter! GENIUS!

I think every parent needs to put this on their summer reading list. Grab a copy and read it to your kids while you are on a road trip or while you are camping or on vacation. Take a few late nights, lay outside on a blanket and devour this book together.  I think it is perfect for kids from 6 to 60.

I promise you won't regret it. I am recommending this book to a close friend who is worried that her 8 year old son will not take responsibility for his actions. This book is perfect for driving the point of personal responsibility home! I promise it will get the conversation started.

Are you worried that your child does not reach out to others or is getting into a clique or exclusive group? This book will solve your problem.

Are you wanting to encourage your child to be more kind and considerate? This book is your answer.

Do you want to open your child's eyes to the perspective of others? Check.
Do you want him or her to see how gossip hurts others? Check.
Do you want to help your child stand up to bullies or not be a bully? Check.

This book is for you! This book is perfect on so many levels. But believe it or not, even though it teaches so many powerful lessons, it is not preachy. It is exciting, engaging, and entertaining. You will not be able to put it down. I cried when I read Julian's ending.

Get Wonder and Julian's Chapter today!

Wonder

The Julian Chapter
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Grace and Motherhood

By Deborah Rowley

We hunt for Easter Eggs as a family on Saturday afternoon. Yesterday, everyone gathered at Grandma's house to play with the baby bunnies, eat, and hunt for Easter Eggs in the backyard. Afterwards, the adults were lingering at the table to visit.

My sister asked one of our sister-in-laws if she had always been such a graceful and natural mother. Heather smiled and laughed. "Oh no," she said. "I really struggle as a mother." I have known Heather for twenty years and I think she is an amazing mother. Her three children are delightful. Her oldest son is 18, then she has a son that is 16 and a daughter that is 14. They are polite. They are kind. They are obedient and have such good hearts. They are a joy to be around. I love it when my children can spend time with her children.

Then Heather continued her confession. "I think the reason my children are turning out so well is because of the enabling grace of Jesus Christ. Every day I get on my knees and plead, 'I cannot do this. I can't be the type of mother that they deserve. Please send your grace to make up for my weakness, to compensate for the areas where I continually fall short. Please help me.' My prayers are answered. My children are a miracle to me."

Amen.

Nowhere in my life do I feel the need for the grace of Christ more than as a mother. These children are His and He loves them. He will help us raise them even though we know full well that we could never do it without Him.

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The Narcism Epidemic

I just finished the Narcissism Epidemic. Talk about scary! The book explores how we are raising a generation of the most narcissistic kids in history. I really related to the examples given in the book. 

                                                         

*We are treating our kids like royalty as we worship at the Altar of High Self-Esteem at All Costs.

*We are pampering them with every gift, toy, and lavish party possible which we instantly pin and share via social media as we create a cult of mini celebrities.  

*We are so worried that our kids will be hurt that we refuse to teach them how to lose gracefully i.e. every kid gets a trophy/ everyone is a winner. 

*We overpraise our kids for being smart and then blame the teacher rather than the student when lack of effort leads to a poor score. This is the result:

Here is a quote from the book: 

"Understanding the narcissism epidemic is important because its long-term consequences are destructive to society. American culture’s focus on self-admiration has caused a flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy. We have phony rich people (with interest-only mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (with plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures), phony athletes (with performance-enhancing drugs), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation), a phony national economy (with 11 trillion dollars of government debt), phony feelings of being special among children (with parenting and education focused on self-esteem), and phony friends (with the social networking explosion). All this fantasy might feel good, but, unfortunately, reality always wins. The mortgage meltdown and the resulting financial crisis are just one demonstration of how inflated desires eventually crash to earth."

I recommend that every parent pick up this book as soon as possible. It really opened my eyes. You don't need to agree with everything the authors say to quickly realize that we are on the wrong track as a society. The book also gives practical advice as to what we are parents can do differently.

One idea: Praise effort and not innate ability.
(See Tiff's great post on not calling your kids smart here.)

Other ideas:
Teach your kids that it is not always about them.
Promote humility.
Say No.
Don't always allow choice.
Encourage empathy.

Happy Reading! And remember that when you call your darling little 3-year-old a "Prima Donna"--- you don't really want her to grow up to be one!


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Horses!

I just finished reading the book The Faraway Horses by Buck Brannaman.

Buck is the real life Horse Whisperer who inspired the movie with Robert Redford.

His story is also told in a documentary called Buck as well as in his book.

This movie was recommended to our family by a gifted social worker named Ted.

Since hearing about this movie, I have learned firsthand about the power of horses for therapeutic healing. Two powerful programs near my home in Highland, Utah have impacted my family for good. One is Courage Reins.

It is a therapeutic riding center for children with all kinds of disabilities. One of my daughters is currently volunteering there as a side walker. She gets to walk beside the horse and the disabled rider during their lessons. She is loving this experience.

The other program is Bridle up Hope. This amazing program was began by the Covey Family to honor their daughter Rachel.

The goal of Bridle up Hope is to assist adolescent girls who are struggling with low self-worth or depression. They sponsor qualified girls who receive 11 free riding lessons. One of my daughters has been participating in this program and hopes to continue as a volunteer.

Just reading the book was so inspiring. Buck himself overcame severe abuse in his childhood to become a man of gentle strength and wisdom who is gifted in working with horses that have been abused. Here is one of the parenting gems that I gained from this book:

Sometimes you'll work with colts that may be a little bit the way I was, kind of looking for an adventure when time permits. These colts are not bad, they don't want to be bad, and they're not trying to make things bad for you. They just might need a little something to do. They don't need to be whipped, or knocked down, any more than I did as a kid. They just need to be directed, or better yet, redirected. Punishing a horse for doing something wrong is no solution. A kick in the gut solves nothing. You will be further ahead of the game if you redirect him where you would like him to go. This was the first example in my life of a person making the wrong thing difficult, and the right thing easy, as opposed to making the wrong thing impossible through intimation. {My foster parents} gave me an understanding of what real love was about, what devotion mean, and how a lesson can be shared, not dictated.  (The Faraway Horses pages 53-54)

I am looking forward to watching the documentary as well. Ted, the social worker I mentioned, uses this movie as he works with teens who are struggling to make positive choices in their lives. He says that the messages they gain from this movie are life-changing.

Are you a horse lover? Do you need to be?

P.S. My daughters and I recently finished The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater. Another very unusual story about horses that made for a fascinating and compelling read. Loved it!


Buck Brannaman

Courage Reins

Bridle Up Hope



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I'm a Mormon Kid

I am excited to share my student's blog with you today. But first a little background. I teach a group of 50 fifth and sixth grade students at Liahona Preparatory Academy. Our class is unique in that 12 of the students are actually in class with me in a school building in Utah. The other 38 students are participating in our class via the Internet at computers around the world. I have students in Germany, Brazil. Puerto Rico, Italy, Africa and in many students in the United States from Alaska to Florida. Liahona is a private school associated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons).

They are the cutest kids EVER and I feel so lucky to be their teacher. We started a blog so that they could share their writing and their unique perspective about life with others. Here is the link to their blog:

I'm a Mormon Kid

I am not prejudiced at all...but this blog is awesome! It contains everything from original cartoons to funny memes and cute videos.

It also includes their thoughts on everything from praying to being modest to not drinking alcohol to their plans for the future.

These great kids have also written a book and you can download it for free from the blog. Their book attempts to answer the question: What is it like to be a Mormon kid? Not just a Mormon kid in Utah but a Mormon kid around the world. Everything is in their words and includes their un-censored opinions. It is so fun to get into the heads of 10 and 11 year olds. They are a crack up!

If you are a member of our faith, you will really enjoy reading the book to get a fresh perspective. If you are not a member of our faith, you will love to hear about our religion through the eyes of a child. Their faith in God is so refreshing and inspiring. Didn't Jesus encourage us to become even as a little child? Every day they motivate me to be better.

Check out their blog. Pretty Please! (They will be so excited to see our page views go up!) I promise you won't be sorry. I love these kids and I know that you will too.

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A Way to Be More Grateful

One blogger that I follow posts Sunday Inspiration each week. I know I won't be THAT ambitious but today I want to share some Sunday Inspiration with you. I have been reading the book You Will Get Through This by Max Lucado. He is one of my favorite Christian authors.

One chapter is on being more grateful. He begins the chapter by telling this story.

"I was flying home from the Midwest when a snowstorm delayed my arrival in Dallas. I raced to the gate in hopes of catching the final flight of the night for San Antonio. The airport was in a state of contained turmoil. everyone dashing to a gate. The airlines had already loaded extra passengers on  my plane. With all the charm I could muster, I asked the attendant, "Are there any seats left?"

She looked at her computer screen. "No," she replied, "I'm afraid...."

I just knew how she was going to finish the sentence: "I'm afraid you'll have to spend the night here." "i'm afraid you'll need to find a hotel." I'm afraid you'll have to catch the 6:00 a.m. flight to San Antonio."

But she said none of these. Instead, she looked up and smiled. "I'm afraid there are no more seats in coach. We are going to have to bump you up to first class. Do you mind if we do that?"

"Do you mind if I kiss you?" So I boarded the plane and nestled down in the wide seat with the extra legroom. Color me thankful.

Not every passenger was as appreciative as I was. A fellow across the aisle from me was angry because he had only one pillow. With the attendants scrambling to lock doors and prepare for the delayed departure, he was complaining about insufficient service. "I paid extra to fly first class. I am accustomed to better attention. I want another pillow!"

On the other side of the aisle, yours truly smiled like a guy who had won the lottery without buying a ticket. One passenger grumbled; the other was grateful. The difference? The crank paid his way into first class. My seat was a gift.

On which side of the aisle do you find yourself?

If you feel the world owes you something, brace yourself for a life of sour hours. You'll never get reimbursed.
Max Lucado (From the book You'll Get Through This)

Isn't that profound? I struggle with being as grateful as I know I should be. I have tried writing in a gratitude journal but have never been able to keep it up consistently. Just telling myself to be more aware of my blessings doesn't seem to work. But I love this thought. Is this a gift or is it something I am entitled to or that I paid for? Just asking that question makes me acutely aware of all the good things that I have been given.

So I have made a note to remind me. It asks this questions: Is it a gift or is it a given? All I have to do is look around me and I can quickly see that a good marriage, a happy family, a comfortable home, are not givens in this world. I am going to make this question my mantra over the next month. Already, in just a few days, I feel like it has helped me recognize all the good things God has given me.

I will be sharing this thought with my kids during our devotional tonight. I hope that it inspires you as well.

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Mystery Chore Rewards with QR Codes

January is a great time to revamp your chore system. I always feel the need to clean house and implement some changes in the new year. Here is a fun way to reward your kids for doing their chores. I left the logistics of the system up to you. You can decide how many chores your kids need to do to get the reward. Maybe you want to reward them less often or more often. Maybe you want them to work harder and do a better job on their chores. Or maybe you want them to stick to their jobs and get them done consistently. You will have to decide how to make these rewards work for you.

Here are the QR Code Rewards I have so far! I may just need to update this post with more possible rewards regularly.

1. Ice Cream Cone

2.  Movie Night

3. Late Bedtime

4. Date with Dad

5. Date with Mom

6. New Toy

7. New Game

8. New Book

9. Out to A Restaurant

10. Play Date with a Friend

All I can say is that these QR Codes will be rewarding. There is something about the mystery that drives kids crazy. They just have to earn the reward to find out what it is!!

Print out the QR Codes and laminate them for durability.  (Cut off the sentence that tells what the reward is, of course! That is just to help Mom know which rewards you want to use.)

Stick them in a cute jar with the label that I have provided and let the kids know what they have to do to earn a reward. Then kick up your feet and watch in wonder as the chores magically get done. Once the reward has been earned, let your kids draw a QR Code from the jar and use your smart phone or tablet to see their mystery prize! Doing work has never been so much fun!

Chore Rewards Labels

QR Code Chore Rewards

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Super Hero Capes for a Cause

I saw this activity in Family Fun magazine around Christmas time. But things were crazy and I knew there was no way to fit this in during December. It is, however, the perfect activity to shake those January Blues.

Family Fun has partnered with Craft Hope and Enchanted Makeovers to bring super hero capes to children living in homeless shelters. They want to empower children to believe in the hero in themselves, to believe that they can rise above their circumstances and change the course of their lives. I love this philosophy and wanted to have my elementary school class participate in this service project.

Each cape cost about $5.00 to make and took about 45 minutes to an hour. It is the perfect project to do with a cub scout troop or an Activity Days group or for family night. I know the kids in the homeless shelter will love their capes because my students WERE CRAZY ABOUT THEM!

They had to put on the capes and run around the school. They were so proud of the finished product. There is no sewing involved so it is something that anyone can do.

The Deadline to mail the capes is January 31, 2014. Here is all the information that you need about the project.
Craft Hope: Super Hero Capes
Here is a super tutorial about making the capes.
Simple Instructions for Making Your Capes. We did the iron-in emblems with our class.

We made 12 Capes. I purchased 1 yard 3/4 of each color knit fabric and was able to get four capes out of each piece. *Note this is a little different from the instructions to buy 1 yard of fabric in the tutorial above. Buying one yard would have resulted in wasted fabric as you cut the cape down to 27 inches by 30 inches.

First cut the pre-washed fabric.

Then use fabric glue to create a casing for the drawstring ribbon.

While that drys, cut your emblem out of fusible web material. Then peel off the back and iron the fusible web onto the back side of the fabric you want to use. I purchased some fat quarters for our emblem designs.

Peel off the other side of the fusible web and iron it to your cape. Gather the cape and glue the cape to the ribbon. Then attach some self-adhesive velcro fasteners.

You are done! Now watch the powers of these capes in action before you send them off with your love and good wishes for success. I can't wait to see how many capes are collected by Craft Hope. I love joining with others to make even a small difference in the world.

 

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