Teen Activities: Dig Deeper

By Deborah Pace Rowley

I just finished the book Girls on the Edge by Leonard Sax. I think every parent needs to read this book. It is really eye-opening and somewhat disconcerting, but in a good way. It helped me to see clearly the challenges my teenage daughters face and gave me some practical advice on how to help them. One of the things that Dr. Sax recommends is encouraging our daughters to develop a deep inner life. Ask your daughter questions such as: Who are you? What are your special gifts? What is the purpose of your life? If she answers these questions in a superficial or shallow way, encourage her to go deeper. As Dr. Sax asks, “What are there so many girls who can tell you a great deal about what they do but not so much about who they are?”

Modern girls can become so preoccupied with the cyber bubble and crafting an image for social networking sites that they do not spend time in personal reflection and meditation. They don’t contemplate the deeper issues of the soul. This can leave them empty and vulnerable during times of crisis. 

I particularly like this quote:  

“Why is the spiritual journey so important? Because life doesn’t go as planned. Because death and loss happen. Because disappointment hurts. Even if a girl has a brilliant mind and has earned top marks in every subject, and she is in great physical shape, those achievements of mind and body will count for nothing when the crisis hits. She will then discover that she has been living on the edge of the abyss. It may not take much to push her over that edge. Achievements in academics and athletics won’t get you through the dark night of the soul. If her life is just mind and body, then she may feel her life falling apart. She may experience an awful disorientation as she wonders whether anything is worthwhile, whether life is worth living. Maybe it’s not. All her dreams are dust. But if she has nurtured her spirit, nurtured it because you have taught her to cherish it, then she can endure through that dark night.” (pg. 195) 

I know I want to be a mother who has taught her daughters to cherish and nurture their spirits. Will you join me as we work on this together? Stay tuned for more ideas from this book as well as the companion volume by Dr. Sax Boys Adrift.